My weird ways...

I posted an ad on a London listings site:

So you're on Craigslist because it's the online version of the cosmic ordering service: tell it what you want, and hey presto! No? Oh, well it worked for me!!!! Sort of. Oh the tales I could tell!!!!!! And maybe you'll get to hear them, or tell me your own, as we walk through, round, over the Heath, with the three loveliest four-legged creatures you ever met...

Ok, visualise: you're shy, find it hard to break the ice with people, never know what to say...but with CANINE COMPANIONS you are beating people off with a stick! Everyone wants to talk to you! You are popular!!!!!!!! Of course, to begin with, you'll have to endure my company too (to make sure you're responsible enough to be left in charge of the dog(s)) but actually I'm alright, not an axe-murderer or anything. I have to admit that I have a somewhat unconventional approach to life, and depending on your circumstances I may or may not charge for the canine companion service...However, this special offer could change your life, now wouldn't that be worth it!

And I got one response! Whether we'll actually meet up is looking a bit doubtful, I think he wants a bit more than an ice-breaker canine conversation piece!

What a day...

I have this neighbour who really hates me, at least I presume she hates me becaues whe keeps complaining about me to the Council and now I've received a 'final warning' for 'anti-social behaviour'! This is all to do with the dogs of course: I mean, that is the weapon with which she bludgeons me. she really is a loathsome creature, I've heard her berating her little boy, being so mean to him I nearly called the NSPCC (National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children). But then I realised that people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones, and I know that a few times in my career as a mother (and indeed dog-owner) I have been very damned mean myself :(.

Anyway, having a letter off the council was kind of a bummer to say the least. It means that, if I don't succeed in challenging it (which I intend to) that the next 'infraction', decided, presumably by this woman neighbour, as she has taken it upon herself to monitor my every move and condemn me out of hand for everything I do, could lead to an eviction order. Nice. I've only lived here for twelve years, it's the only home my child has ever known, and I've been an EXEMPLARY neighbour all that time, more or less. I'd say I've done a lot more for the good of the general community than most of my neighbours, anyway. Always been smiling and helpful and involved. Apart from the last couple of years I suppose when I've been stressed out and depressed! But even so, I don't think I've ever done anything that could warrant being thrown out of my home!

Actually, I'd love to move out of here. It's a pig-sty, my flat, I hate housework and it shows! Also, I'm a soft touch, even for inanimate objects: things discarded on the street find a new home here. No, really, apart from that, the place is too small, and the estate is home to a particularly nasty breed of rodent-like teenagers who litter and vandalise and burgle and thieve and generally make nasty...and seriously, twelve years? Twelve years! I'd have been let out after seven for murder!

But the absolute worst thing about this threatening missive, which has disturbed my equanimity to the extent that I spent a good ten minutes sobbing into the chest of my ex- on the Heath, and intermittently throughout the day had tears threatening to spill from my tired swollen eyes (including, embarrassingly, and disturbingly, at my kids PTA (parent teacher association) meeting), is that I am reminded that according to the tenancy agreement I am not allowed to have three dogs...and I have three dogs, and I love all of them, and they're a family! And they're MY family! And, god, honestly, that puppy has been like a life-line to me! He cheers me up, he makes me feel HAPPY! I LOVE him!!!!!!!!!! Even if he is a bloody Earth Rat...and I don't want to have to give him up, I REFUSE to give him up! But if I don't, would they really evict me? Oh, I bloody hate this!!!!!! There's something very wrong in being so constrained by other people's dictates, people who neither know or care about one. Seems like an invasion of my human rights if you ask me: how can it be allowable to limit my family purely because I live in 'social housing'? If I were a home-owner they wouldn't be able to specify how many pets I could keep; or interfere in my life in this way. And by the way, the dogs, who I admit are terrible creatures at times, have never caused any real trouble...not like wars or economic meltdowns anyway...they're just normal, lively terriers...just a bit too lively, and a bit too HAPPY, for the miserable bitch at no ? (just in case one of my neighbours ever reads this...)

Three not a crowd, so far anyway...

Well I love having Toffee in the family! He's a real charmer, and absolutely gorgeous. He snarls when you try and go near his food though, and has been in more than one fight already with Spidey...hmmm, but they play together more, and clearly love and look out for one another...

A very popular puppy

Apart from everyone saying that THREE dogs is a bit over the top (oh where will it end, Jane?), the fact is, Toffee is the best little puppy in the world (my world), and he trots at my heels instinctively, poos on newspaper without fuss, and hardly ever needs to go in the house anyway, he seems to be perfectly capable of saving himself for his walks...really, hardly any accidents! Spidey was practically incontinent for six months, and Lucky! My god I still have trouble with Lucky and her constipated ways. (She just never seems to realise that when we're out for a walk, last thing, that she's supposed to 'do her business'. Even though I KNOW she needs to. And her tail is doing that stiff, uncomfortably rigid thing, where it looks as if she's having to hold in a poo, rather than just letting go and having a sodding bowel movement. She is utterly neurotic.)

So, proof that keeping Toffee is the right decision: everyone's happy about it, even the very people (Finn and Rachel C.) who were telling me I couldn't and mustn't; all the small kids on the estate who've been coming round every day for months to 'see the puppies', crying when another one's been sold, are all really happy; Spidey and Lucky are happy - their too-intense relationship has been diluted yet enhanced by this new addition; my friend Mary's little girl Tess is very very very happy, and has first dibs on dog care duty when me and Finn have to go on holiday (and the dogs will inevitably have to be separated, I imagine, for simplicity); and the general public, as represented by the customers of the Pineapple pub on Leverton street, are also happy, charmed as they are by the sight of my gorgeous charges...inevitably the puppy gets most of the oohs and aahs but the goodwill descends upon all of us like a warm and comforting blanket.

I've just been cuddling him (Toffee) and talking to him and telling him how wonderful he is ('You're my own personal cure for depression') and soon will take them out for another lovely walk: I really REALLY enjoy bringing him to new places that he hasn't been to before, and of course Lucky and Spidey love it too. On Spidey's birthday (on the 18th of September he was one) we went to Highgate Woods and that was fabulous, in fact, I think that was the day I decided I wouldn't be able to sell him (as someone asked about him and I said he was selling for £400...no-one's going to pay that amount, ha ha!!!!!).

Deleting ads so's I can keep my puppy!

Breed(s) Jack Russell & Pomeranian Cross Pedigree No Price £400 Location London Ready Now Number available Dogs 1 & Bitches 0 Parents viewable Yes Injections inc Yes Age of ad 2 Days Breeder No		View members profile Ads posted by user View comments on ad Add comments on ad Add to clipboard Search like breeds Search like location Find service in area Email ad to friend Add to email alert
Description there's just one puppy left from Lucky's last litter and he is GORGEOUS. I personally would be really happy to keep him but unfortunately we just don't have the space, and I'd rather he went to a loving home who can give hive him all the affection and attention he deserves. He is tan-coloured, nice curly tail, very pretty face. He is a lively, intelligent, affectionate, playful little fellow, who attracts a LOT of attention when I bring him out for walks with his mum and big brother. He loves coming to the Heath and is very well socialised having been born into a lively household with kids, cats and dogs surrounding him. I love this little guy so much, and I know whoever chooses him in the end will love him devotedly too.
Picture

Only one puppy left....

...and I think I might have to keep him! He's so sweet:) He really makes me happy :) And I know he's Lucky's favorite too :)

Oh it's hard...but really, very tempting...

I took him for a walk along the canal today, very impulsive decision, I decided that as it was a concrete path he'd be okay for germs. Put him on a lead so's I could tug him away from the verges...it was great :) Lucky was very excited about it all for some reason, I've noticed she's being more playful these days, although also carrying on the tradition of dominating and attacking her puppy son...she used to do it to Spidey and god she can't do it to him now...

Only two puppies left, awwwwwwww

The two boys are the last to go, and they're so sweet! It surprises me though just how keen everyone is to have a bitch...sexism in the canine world. It's all the leg-cocking no doubt, all that stopping, sniffing, piddling. Which ought to be manageable with good solid training, presumably, if you can be disciplined enough (not like me). Anyway, now that there's only two to handle it does seem easier, there's less poo to pick up (or accidentally step in), and it's easier to cuddle them and tell them how beautiful they are...all babies love that treatment, and Scobie and Piggie lap it up...

Getting big now....

I went away for a few days and I've come back and the puppies are ENORMOUS....but still very sweet...apparently they all escaped at one point...but were rounded up by the neighbours...

Nothing to do with dogs, but this is good:

Not sure this will work, 'embedding video', but worth a try I think you'll agree...


Where the Hell is Matt? (2008) from Matthew Harding on Vimeo.

Hey, it works :)

Now I hope you enjoy it...

One down, five to go...

Awwwwwwww, Nala went yesterday...she was the lightest in colour and the smallest, and possibly the one most likely to look Pomeranian, though who knows? Her snout was narrower than the others but I don't think she was as fluffy as some of them.

Anyway, she's gone to a very good home, a mother and daughter, experienced with dogs, and they'll obviously be devoted to their little Lacey, as they've named her.

Later today another one might go, someone's coming who sounded very eager indeed and who already has a couple of dogs, so again I can see a good happy home in my mind's eye.

I think the departure of Nala/Lacey affected Spidey almost more than it did Lucky: I reckon it stirs up memories for him as well. As he was the fourth to be sold from the last litter he'd have seen three of his siblings depart and known the affect it had on his mum, then HE was sold himself(!), thankfully to a couple who decided after a few days that their circumstances weren't as appropriate as they'd imagined for a small puppy so we got him back...why did I let him go in the first place? He was always my favourite...

So both dogs seemed a bit more full of nervous energy than usual yesterday, and I must make sure I take them for a good long walk today to dispel some of it. A fairly nice day here I think, at least, no rain is forecast, which is about as good as it gets.

Little puppies are so cute

Unfortunately I've dilly-dallied all day and now have no time to write...about anything...but here's a video:

Spidey is on holiday in Ireland, where he has swum(?) three times in the sea, and become obsessed with a garden pond.

Lucky, apparently, is sporting ribbons in her hair and her tummy is a lot better :)

first viewing today

A couple came over to look at the pups, they were actually looking FOR a Jack Russell/Pomeranian cross, so how cool is that? And they really liked one of the girls (well actually there were three that they liked, but one girl in particular)...so I shall hear from them after the weekend. Fingers crossed.

Some other news

Prior to the 'Uglygate' incident (he is impeached, dishonoured, disowned) I'd actually been having a lovely day, including going to visit the 'grandparents' of Foxy the hot Pomeranian. Except only one of them was in, David, but he was delighted to see us and very grateful that I got in touch. I guess it's really now a matter of them choosing one of the pups to keep or sell as their 'stud fee'.

Also on the walk, I spotted an ad in a window, a 'trustworthy 14yr old boy' seeking a 'friendly dog to walk 2-3 times a week'. Naturally I rang to enquire further, and spoke to a very posh-sounding guy who is the 14yr old's father, and it looks like we'll all meet up on Sunday and see how him and Spidey get on. As Lucky obviously wouldn't fit the bill...

Finally, here's a new photo of the puppies...

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder...

...and handsome is what handsome does.

Oh, I was absolutely spitting last night. This friend of mine, currently homeless, staying in my daughter's bedroom until he sorts himself out and therefore on hand to do a spot of dog-sitting etc when necessary...he sits in my kitchen (eating my food, drinking my wine) and starts going on about how UGLY he thinks my dog is!!!!! And doesn't shut up, rants on and on for about ten minutes about how UGLY and DEFORMED-LOOKING she is. God, I felt really furious!!!!

I couldn't believe that he could actually perceive her as anything but utterly adorable and gorgeous, to be honest, but fair enough, each to their own, we all have our own unique perspectives after all. I went and asked my neighbour what she thought, if Lucky was ugly, and actually it seemed very much as though that was her opinion also! Perhaps not so harsh. But what she said was, 'It's a Jack Russell...' (shrug) and 'it's her personality I find a bit off-putting, she scares me, she's really yappy...' Etc. Sigh...

It's true, the dog is out of her tiny little mind half the time. Hates the postman. Hates the hoodies (who do taunt her given half a chance). Hates some other dogs, or at least launches into a frenzy of barking when she catches their scent, walking by...She's been known to take against people for no good reason, and has nipped rather more people than can be right, and I still need to get her a muzzle...

But she's definitely not ugly or deformed and the asshole 'friend' of mine ought to look at his own ugly mug in the mirror...

Ooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhh.

Okay, I feel better now. And somewhat wiser. I don't actually really want to fall out over it either. But it will take some time for my ire to die down.

Advertising the puppies...

And here's the wording of the ad I want to put on Epupz.co.uk...

These beautiful puppies are Lucky's second litter, so we know precisely (up to a point!) how gorgeous they will turn out as fully-grown dogs. For a start they will be SMALL, making them perfect pets for Londoners like ourselves.
Lucky herself is a stunningly good-looking wire-haired Jack Russell, and the dad, Foxy, is the most gorgeous Pomeranian I have ever seen. He and Lucky met on the Heath at the end of April and it was love (or lust!) at first sight...
The puppies were born one week ago and are strong and healthy and putting on weight. They are all incredibly cute, five are quite light-coloured, one is darker, they all have dark ears and muzzles. Some have white markings (there's one with the most adorable thin streak of white down its muzzle) and the dark one has a white chest and throat. They're adorable, so come and see!!!

Anyway, hopefully we'll have a lot of interested buyers clamouring for a puppy...awwwwwwwww!!!!! But we can't keep another one, really, we CAN'T!!!!!!!

Lucky goes to the Heath...

A week ago today we brought Lucky and Spidey for a walk on the Heath, nothing too strenuous given her condition: I tried to keep to the flatter ground. The next day her puppies were born, and since then she's hardly let them out of her sight. Keeping her legs crossed, she'd run out to the green to do her business and race back into them while I was still picking up her poo. It made a lovely change actually. Normally she's annoyingly resistant to the idea of a walk being first and foremost an opportunity to empty her bowels. Many's the night I've despaired of her ever going to the toilet, as I go round the block one more time...(goddammit Lucky, DO YOUR BUSINESS!!!!!!) Anyway, today was such a beautiful day, really sunny, I had to take the dogs up to the Heath with me, and it was lovely. Lux had a great time and didn't seem concerned for her puppies at all, obviously very happy to have a break from the constant nursing. And Spidey was delightful, as usual. I love this footage of him and Lucky rolling about in the grass after their swim in the dog pond...

And here's a picture of the puppies, just a few hours old...

Actually make that six!!!!!!

Well, it is pretty hard to count them when they're so small, and their mother is lying on top of them...but there are definitely six. Which is just as well, as she only has six teats. And they're going to be really stunning puppies! They're so cute already! None of them have Foxy's colouring, in fact they look rather like her last letter did, except there's no black ones, but they all seem to have very distinctive sticky-outy ears, which I'm thinking come from him. But then again, maybe all puppies have sticky-outy ears to begin with? I really don't know! They're all blind and squeaky.

Lucky is lying in bed with them, resting, but her breathing is very rapid...looks like she's dreaming, with her eyes kind of open, but she's definitely asleep, knackered the poor thing...aw...don't worry Lux, we'll look after you properly...

Lucky has had her puppies!

They're here! Five! Don't look anything like the Pomeranian: is it possible Spidey fathered them after all?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Pics to follow!

Testing...

So one of the things that distracted me this morning was discovering all sorts of settings for the blog that I hadn't noticed before, one of which is 'post by email'. It would certainly be a lot more convenient (in theory) to be able to just write a quick email to update the blog rather than do the log-in, read the old posts, mess with the settings, upload photos etc, all of which I do, time-wasting...these dogs need to be outside! Right now! Ok!!!!!! So, testing the email facility is hereby instigated...

Poor neglected creatures...

Ah, they're grand really, but damn the internet!!!!! I could've been on the Heath with them by now but no, the portal opens and in I go, sucked in by emails and blogs and unhealthy obsessions...

Anyway, I have a class this morning, so the time to take them for a long walk has evaporated, it's the local park and ball-throwing now.

Lately Lucky has been less able to run for the ball, presumably due to her pregnancy. She's getting quite big, bigger by the day. I'm growing rather excited about it and wondering what the pups will come out like. Jackeranians...silly name, but not as bad as what are they? Labradoodles?

Lucky IS pregnant

All my fault, I decided it was better for her to get pregnant by any dog as long as it wasn't her own son, Spidey...who probably wouldn't have managed it but there was a slim possibility I suppose, even if he does seem a lot keener on male dogs! Anyway, Foxy the Pomeranian rose to the occasion, and a few weeks later Lucky is getting bigger and bigger.

They have an extremely short gestation period, dogs, only 60-65 days, so having finally worked out the date of impregnation, that means she'll be due in about...another week and a half!!!!!!! Oh good god!!!!!!! Kind of interferes with my summer somewhat...we'll definitely have to sell ALL of them this time, there's no way we're keeping one...but maybe we'll give one to our friend Liz, she was angling for a puppy the last time but to be honest, we wanted to sell them, not give them away! This time, who knows, either she'll pay something, not full-price, or, if there's one we really like and would love to keep ourselves, but can't, we could give it to her, and that way it would almost be like it staying in the family...

Dog porn: why not?

ok ok ok, I know it SOUNDS terrible, but stay with me for a minute.

The sex industry is enormous, massive, it's foundational to the internet in fact, because people are constantly looking for a new buzz and sex is a very buzzy thing for most. Even I, who abhors pornography (truly), have been known to trawl the sites looking out of both curiousity and desire. And there's all kinds of freaky stuff out there, thank god they make you pay most of the time as that does at least stop kids seeing it. (The reason I really hate porn myself is that I found my Dad's dirty mag stash when I was about eight, and I was fascinated by it, I'd return to it in secret and read all the letters...it definitely affected me.)

Anyway, the thing about the porn industry is that it is just that, an industry, the people are just working, they're following directions, it's artificial. They might be having a good time and enjoying themselves (I'd certainly hope so!) on one level, but they never reach the higher levels, where you do a thing out of passion, spontaneously, and it arises out of your own natural state of being, your instincts and feelings.

Dogs, on the other hand, are a joy to watch when they're getting to know each other! And it doesn't necessarily mean they HAVE SEX either (that bit's gross, where they get stuck to each other for about half an hour? Yikes!). Spiderpig is *especially* cute and wonderful (winsome even) when he develops a crush on another dog. He chases, is playful, lies on his back with his legs in the air, sniffs, licks, nips and tries to mount...mainly his fellow male dogs I might add. Yes, Spidey is gay, and I like it!

Seriously, just wait, I'll show you what I mean one of these days...

dogs not eating their food...

It's very annoying to buy food for the dogs, who by reputation, as a species, are meant to eat anything (their own vomit, horse shit, new-born kittens (we had a dog that did that once! Gross! And the look of pure guilt on his face...he was an evil dog actually, a dachshund)) and they turn their noses up at it. Butcher's tripe I get them, it always seems like the healthiest option on the Co-Op's shelves. But they're fussy little buggers, and seem to think the food isn't good enough for them...You'd think they'd just eat it if they're hungry enough, but they continue to ignore their bowls of food and make walks a pain because they think they can eat better off the street...and in fairness, here in Kentish Town there are a hell of a lot of fried chicken outlets and their clientele often discard the bones on the street, much to my annoyance...

Help! My terriers need training!

It's just like having kids: before you have them, you just have no idea, really NO IDEA, just how much they're going to change your life.